Swings, roundabouts and revolving doors.

I think I've mentioned this before, however ever since I was a child there were two things I wanted to be, a singer or a teacher.

When I was younger I would always perform random shows, singing songs and when I was thirteen I wrote my first proper song. I'd always enjoyed writing because it was a great way of being creative. I always knew that to be a singer would take a lot of hard work and despite recording songs and a couple of albums, I knew I was never quite good enough. I auditioned for several different talent shows (you name it, I've tried it), however deep down it was never going to happen. So I decided why not be a teacher. There are a couple of family members who are teachers and my best friend is one, so I believed I could do it too.

When my Great Aunty died, she kindly left me inheritance. She told me to use this money to fund myself. I'm not very good at taking/borrowing money from other people, however I knew this would help me start a new career.

Returning to university would be difficult, although hard work, it was an incredible experience and I met so many great people. After a lot of determination, I received a degree in Education and thus began my journey. Already working in a school as a Higher Level Teaching Assistant the school supported me in my aim to become a teacher. At the time I thought I would have employment the following school year, however unfortunately those plans didn't really occur.

That's when I decided to pack up my life and move away. Not far away (I'm not sure I could go too far away from my family), but enough where I'd have to be independent and strike out on my own. I've always been one to challenge myself, sometimes I don't know why. Although, it can be good to take risks and break through the comfort zone. I also know that it's important to take a risk, however I also know when it's ok to backtrack and admit that things don't always work out. It's like swings, roundabouts and revolving doors. I can try something new, however I know I can go back if I really need to.

I started writing this at the start of the week and you know how each week is like a rollercoaster. I've had some real highs this week and then literally slapped in the face which has brought me down. I'm glad I have this to vent my frustration because no matter what I'm not going to change.

This is my rambling part and the section where I big myself up. I think I've had a fairly successful start to my career, with the children enjoying my lessons, forming good relationships, especially with my teaching assistant and parents saying that their children are happy. I'd admit, I'm not the most knowledgeable, however I've worked extremely hard and passed all my observations. So why does one negative completely throw you of course and make your good day slide downhill. As an NQT I'm constantly learning (of course), although I'd admit I'm not very good at taking new things on board and I definitely do not like change (even though I'm constantly changing things). I'm a complete contradiction.

You always remember the one negative thing, despite all of the positives that came before. Maybe I just need to brush it off and just focus on what I am doing right. I made some career changing decisions yesterday (Friday) and it was such a relief. I know that it is ok to backtrack and find solitude in a place that I can be myself. Every day I learn something new about myself and inevitably this will make me stronger.

I really think I need this well earned break and very much looking forward to eating lots of chocolate come Easter Sunday.

Until next time...

Steve Maull. An NQT